Hoist Up the Top Sheet and Spank It! Massachusetts Can Vote Pirate! Yar!

Those of you reading the site for a while know that the Limejuiceboy and I are big into pirates.  And it’s stretched back quite a few years, well before Johnny Depp made it mainstream.  As you’ve hopefully noticed our creative writing experiments invoke pirate lore, as does the site’s design itself.  It doesn’t stop there either.  I have a Pirate’s Cove at work complete with an action figure of Blackbeard, a Grow Your Own Pirate, a pirate monkey, and lots of dubloons.  A coworker of mine actually bought me 45 eyepatches because she knew I loved pirates so much.  And when my department heard a baby was on the way, everyone put on the eyepatches to celebrate it. 

Pirates are a big deal here at Limejuiceboys.com.  We love them.  Which is why this is such exciting news:

The Pirate Party is now an official political party in the state of Massachusetts!  Which means that if you feel a bit dejected by the Democrats or the Republicans or even those Libertarians or Green Partiers you can now VOTE PIRATE.  Yar!

I know what you’re thinking.  This is a joke.  But, actually, it’s not.  It’s more serious than you’re thinking.  These Pirates aren’t about raping and pillaging.  They actually have an agenda that you might believe in.  Here, take a look!

Per the MassPirates website, here is what it means to vote pirate:

Defending Your Privacy

Whether it was the PATRIOT ACT, illegal NSA wiretapping or local surveillance cameras, our government has used 9/11 to increase its surveillance and control over us. Corporations have increased their spying on employees in order to get more work out of them. The arguments for each step on the road to a surveillance 
state may sound convincing, but that road leads to less control by people and more by government and corporate elites. Terrorists may attack the open society, but only governments can abolish it. The Pirate Party will prevent that from happening.

Opening Up Government

In order for citizens to control their democratic destiny, we need to know what our government is doing and which special interests are influencing our public elected officials. Increasingly government officials ignore open meeting laws, make deals favorable to corporations behind closed doors and sell off your 
public information to private interests. Massachusetts laws prevent people from recording public officials in their duties, such as a police officer making an arrest, but the police cameras can record your actions without your permission. The Pirate Party will make sure that our government is transparent and accountable to the people.

 

Promoting Culture & Knowledge Through Copyright Reform

The Founding Fathers created our copyright laws to promote knowledge & culture by giving the creator a limited monopoly over their creations. Congress, under the influence of corporations, has extended the duration of that government granted monopoly to seventy years after the death of the creator. Increasingly corporations have sought broader laws to ensure that they control and profit from more of our culture. Through Digital Rights Management (DRM) technologies they have locked down our culture, hindered sharing and criminalized their customers.

Not as silly as you thought, right?  And if you believe in their mission, you can then call yourself a pirate!  For real!  No lie!  So if you like pirates and believe that Big Brother has gotten a bit too big, opportunity awaits my friend!  You heard it here first.

–Cap’n Blackjack